A new relationship lesson
This is sth I learnt over the years, but I know I am still bad about it.
My boyfriend was very excited to show me sth he built over past few days, and I was very excited, too. I have been thinking that I should learn more about his life and what he is doing, since our relationship has been going really well (I think).
When I jumped into the call, he showed me the product and pitched his ideas. I quickly switched myself into the review mode, asking questions about product concept, direction, goal and customer stickiness...
I thought I was trying to be patient, hear out the ideas, and asking open questions...mentioned that I was just trying to help him to refine the idea... blah blah blah...
You can imagine, it destroyed all the excitement and that was not what the other person needs!
The call disconnected due to poor internet. During that break, I realized that I have to detach my work life from my personal life. I decided to start this relationship, not to be business partner with him, I cannot talk to him as if I am talking to my stakeholders or reviewing their product road-maps. He wanted to talk to me about his ideas and didn't expect me to be an investor who challenges his business ideas. He wants to share the excitement with someone he cares.
Then why this is happening? I think the answer is: Sometimes, I still expect my partner to be the way I expected to be based on my own value. The second layer of this answer is: I am not inner-secured enough to accept whomever I am dating.
I believe everyone should make independent conscious decisions on what they want. If I want to change the person I chose, then I'd better to learn how to choose the person in the first place.
SLU, Seattle, WA