Jing's Blog

Solo Traveler / Self-Improvement/ jing.liu@hey.com

(From my old blog, originally posted on Sep 14th, 2018)

刚刚和同事小酌回家,觉得有感需要抒发一下

每个人的格局可以非常不同,其实接触不一样的人并不是在于这个人是否合适作为朋友。认识每个人的过程本身可以让你认识到世界的广阔,以及每个个体的渺小,以及每个人的思想可以有多包容。

原来我是属于把自己禁锢在一个固定的价值观里面,觉得人的底线就是应该把那些价值观之外的事情一概排外,比如抽烟吸毒泡吧或者过度自信。其实这一切又有多么恶劣?既不违反社会道德,也不损害他人利益。

有一天你我终将逝去,活着的意义不是躲避什么,而是敢于迎接什么

如果想要留下什么,就要敢想敢做敢坚持

最近有种千里马和伯乐在一起的感觉

估计没有更好的机会允许你大干一场

舞台有多大取决于你的心有多大

自此一年,铭记于心

(From my old blog, originally posted on Sep 5th, 2018)

总结过往易 预知未来难 所以历史经验只能被借鉴

让步易 坚持难 所以做事不能追求人人满意

等待易 付出难 所以感情不能害怕受伤

被誉易 被鄙难 所以不能害怕未知的挑战

多易 少难 所以不能纠结于舍

这大估是我的选择

Berlin Airport, Germany

(From my old blog, originally posted on Aug 10th, 2018)

藏了很久的一件心爱的裙子

一直想穿却总找不到合适的时机

终于找到机会 拿出来去太阳下晒一晒

它那么耀眼

突然觉得它好像并不是很适合我

就收起来吧

此后也不再总惦记它

偶尔会想起

哦原来有这样一件很美的裙子

它更适合她

(From my old blog, originally posted on Aug 8th, 2018)

喜欢一个人出去游荡的自由

并不认识谁,像只影子飘过眼前的所有事物

停顿, 聆听,微笑,跳舞,自言自语

大多时候自己给自己力量

伦敦是一个让我第一次无法爱上的城市

如今却也因为有三五好友而并不那么陌生

出差住在酒店里

总是喜欢在午夜到来前喝点东西

来点音乐

然后一个人在房间里跳舞

今夜也并没有什么不一样

然后开始思维活跃异常

根本无法铺垫睡眠

想想明天还要一天的工作

还是找点有趣的事情做一点

睡吧

(From my old blog, originally posted on Mar 31st, 2018) 从卢森堡出来的时候在下大雨, 快到特里尔的时候天气开始转好

在特里尔走马观花的看了一下,然后人情味还是要比卢森堡足一点

此刻坐在科隆的Airbnb里面和小白面对面,谈论了一下感情的话题

这一天下来感觉旁边的这个小朋友比自己的生活阅历丰富的多

其实自己内心是一直有一颗狂躁二跳动的心

自幼总是被禁锢在自己的”完美”价值观里面不愿意让自己越界

看到他可以直白地把所有的情感表达出来,打心眼里的佩服和羡慕

因为那种无所谓也是底气 也是阅历

(From my old blog, originally posted on Mar 18th, 2018) 喜欢这首歌到骨子里,因为它曾在我一个人孤独时给了我继续向前的勇气,在我思念一个人的时候可以告诉自己不要去打扰他的幸福,在我怀疑自己懦懦不敢前行的时候固执的认为就这样单纯的执着也没什么不可以

本来是一首情歌,非得被我给听成励志曲一个人久了,发现所有的能量只能来源于自己内心的充实,否则真的很难抵挡孤独的侵袭,即使你被世界遗忘也要起床,吃饭,运动,思考,幻想,工作,一些在他人而言无所谓有意义或无意义的事

早起将卖相很差的植物拆剪成三株水培小绿,这件小事竟让我内心开心些许

还要记录一下昨天的心得:

1) 与其追逐新的挑战,我应该学习如何将一件事情做的彻底,可持续,此乃对于工作。

2) 放开手让自己关心的人过自己的生活,他们可以为自己的生活负责任,此乃对于家人。

3) 爱这件事: 对不值得的人,做减法; 值得的人,做加法。

((From my old blog, originally posted on Mar 11th, 2018) 想写这个话题的起因是无意间走进一间画廊,如我所料完全看不懂!然后坐着呆呆的看着作者对画作意图的阐释,大概听的七七八八,可能讲的是中世纪文明和自然界的相结合,有很多夸张的神话色彩. 再看作者简介才知道他是指环王的概念设计师和插画师 John Howe. 这就引发了我接下来的一系列反思

来欧洲一年,除了逐渐适应不用母语在这里生活,还有什么?欧洲历史入门,明白了各个国家的地理方位,知道了千奇百怪的啤酒和产国,去了大大小小十几个国家,还有一点就是我对中国历史的了解和认知比过去二十六年都多,历史曾在我最厌恶的学科里一直名列榜首!最近很纠结自己下一步该去哪里,其中包括伦敦,西雅图,或者回香港或者上海,以及一直挠心痒的回大唐都城长安开个裁缝铺子懒散度日,我的反思就集中在过去一年我本可以更好的利用我的时间,明明处在各种文明的中心,历史文化建筑饮食如此丰富的欧洲,却过的像把自己锁在监狱里一样!

狠不下心回西安,觉得还没有做到自己想要的样子,你会依旧好奇外面的世界,依旧怀疑自己为何如此无知,努力自己继续用眼睛去发现生活,以更加开放的心态去融入不同的文化,给别人更多些信任,开始戒掉100%的工作状态,这估计是我2018年最大的期盼,let things be a little bit out of control!

(From my old blog, originally posted on Mar 8th, 2018) 在亚马逊工作一直都觉得是一件价值观非常契合的事情,原来在其他公司见了太多形式性的事,不管你做没做事,如果会展现你就不会混的差(而这项能力我真的欠缺,需要学习),可能一年半载可以跳个槽, 再或者上下都是一起混大家睁一只眼闭一只眼即可。而在这里有没有本事生存,三个月最多半年高下立见。太多人在三五个月的时候没法适应而离开,我自己也曾行走在其边缘。

今天想说的是关于亚马逊的员工反馈体系,记得曾经有媒体在公开批评过员工之间如何通过评价系统来表达对其他同事的不满甚至使用其为手段来排除异己,不能否认有人会这样做,就想你无法否认再法治社会、道德高尚、福利完善的国家依旧会有人犯法一般。我非常喜欢亚马逊的反馈文化,记得刚入职不久在和我老板的某次单独谈话中,她主动询问我对她工作上的评价,除了有点吃惊以外我也非常单纯直接的讲述了我的看法,她对于我评价的认可和感激让我非常诧异,因为首先从来没有人这么直接明白的来询问我,也没有人会这么真诚的去表达对别人的反馈的感谢。 之后发现并不是只有她而是在所有常规的单独谈话中大家都会很主动的询问我的看法,逐渐我也开始模仿,这样做的好处在接下来的两三年里帮助了我太多,及时的反馈能够让你在很多事初调整方向,更加可以给你信心。说起来可能有点矛盾,但是就我个人而言在得到他人反馈前我经常觉得计划完美无懈可击,同时却隐隐不安,因为在你不知道哪里会出问题前你会更加惶恐,而及时的反馈能让我认识到事情的不足,这反让我更加勇敢往前。很神奇。

想说这个,因为今天做了我工作的年终总结,觉得值得记录一下。

像我说的我知道我自己在很多方面做的挺好,可偏偏就是哪些地方不好是我一直纠结的。比如每件事我都想要做到完美,刨根问底完美计划反复确认生怕有缺失。。。每次都要把自己的理解完整重复再重复,也会用最简单的语言表达按照这个计划每个人应该做什么(大部分情况下这已经在别人职责之内的事),生怕有些事情不受掌控,导致我自己非常辛苦也会让一起工作的伙伴觉得不被信任。我自己很多时候会感觉怪怪的但是又说不上来哪里不对,知道今天看到同事的反馈(25+人的反馈超开心 ~_~)才觉得石头落地,默念:原来那样做会让别人觉得这样。

我并不在意别人怎么说,但是当我得到非常客观的反馈时我会如获珍宝,打心眼里感谢别人这样直接的表达出来。不管在职场或者生活中,给与你的队友信任才能一起走更远,毕竟一个人不会完成天下事,别给自己那么大压力,别去越界别人的生活和职责。

目前的状态是,非常非常打心眼里感谢别人的反馈,我也愿意真诚的给别人反馈。实话会让人觉得不适,但是接受这点起初的不适让我能够尽早的调整自己的心态和方式。对待家人朋友和同事,予人信任,退一步能让紧绷的神经放松,会是让人更加舒适的相处方式

“Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns”

You have a big house, a nice car, leather sofa, latest electronics, a Rolex watch, dressing at fashion trend... And you want more, wish to upgrade your house, your car, your taste of clothes, that new cutting-edge electronic product released last week from CES... You probably still need another wardrobe, bigger TV, that end table, the new rocking chair, that red pair of heels, do not forget that new season handbag from Gucci...

Look at you, life is so successful. You have everything everyone wants.

Above are all the things I went through in my recent years of life, always think there are better things out there. Now, I am living in this capitalism country, I earn enough and I can buy almost everything I want. But still, I kept feeling meaningless in my life, and I keep trying to find sth new to make me feel great. Every time I am into a thing that I really really want, I buy it, the excitement lasts minutes, or maybe few days, then it's gone.

I realized it cannot bring me continuous satisfaction. Owning those things are basically living a life based on how this society want you to be. Imagine all the videos, marketing events, magazines, billboard, influencers... They are all trying to define what a “good” life look like, and sell them to you. I read this today and it explains it well: https://www.collaborativefund.com/blog/gains/

The big lie that I trusted for a long time is “ YOU DESERVE THIS!” It captured everyone's mind, the underlying message is: you have been working hard, you went through a lot, you are better than you thought you are, you really deserve this (this means consuming your money).

We are so addicted to this eagerness of consuming things.

We think we are in control of our lives by owning more, but we are actually losing the control of our lives by letting this ego consume us. We are not any more trying to find the meaning of our lives, but the one who want to own more to show people how good we are.

Find peace in my mind. Take control of my life. I am committed.

SLU, Seattle, WA

Since 8 years ago, I have developed this habit of plan my financial flow for next 18 months. As I had quite some debt accumulated due to family reason, my focus was more on cash flow: how can I pay all bills and loans next month or next three months. Doing monthly finance planning gave me a relatively calm mind from my life mess. I am really glad that I did this, even though it was more because I didn't really have a choice, it was painful but definitely pushed me to learn how important it is to organize my financials by myself.

As of Sep 1st. I officially became debt free. Since then, I kept thinking about when I will have “Okay-ish” money to start my business, without selling my long term investment or selling my apartment.

Then when I re-plan with a new goal, I realized there are so many weekly/monthly bills I need to manage both in China and United States. It consumes a lot of my mental energy, and I had no time/energy to manage it before, I was focusing on making sure next bill is covered from my crazy travel/working schedules.

Again, thanks to Pandemic when I finally have some time to get myself organized. Similar to how I cut down my physical ownings (refer to “What I really need” post), do I really need to manage this many bills?

To start with, I listed out every single inflow and outflow accounts I have. From Credit/Checking/Savings and Investment account, to all online digital banks, then to all monthly and annually bills.

I LOVE this exercise. When I listed out all of those, I realized so many things are just “nice to have”.

Here are things I decided to cut out – Deactivated my Chinese credit card, US credit card, EU credit card (since I was living in all those countries and used them for a while). – Deactivated all digital banks credit/loan account. Including Alipay Huabei, Jiebei, Paypal. – Removed all other banks account I have been using for years in China due to different purposes, housing fund, pension, medical care, investment, payroll... – Deactivated my Morgan Stanley investment account, merged it with my 401K plan account.

Now I have 5 financial accounts worldwide: one traveling credit card for credit building purpose (US...), one payroll/savings account, one apartment mortgage (in China), one 401K account which also for investment purpose, plus one Venmo account for social financials.

Here are things I changed impacting financials – Record every expense everyday helps me to cut out unnecessary spent. – Unsubscribing some memberships like Spotify/Amazon Unlimited Music that I use less than once a month. – Change monthly membership to annual membership for programs I know I will need all the time. Like Prime/ Audible. Saving $100+ yearly. – Switch all bills to email, easily I can get 5-10 dollars monthly credit. – Replenish things as I need. Do not stock-up for Toilet paper, garbage bags, tampons, sunscreens(!!!) Those are often ended up as trash when they expire – Less deliveries, more pick ups from restaurants and supermarkets. – Last and the most exiting one. Switching to a new apartment that will reduce 35% of monthly rent I am paying today! I also captured the trend when SLU rental market drop, negotiated down price from original 26% reduction to 35%.

Bill wise, I have 9 monthly bills and 7 annual bills. Those are all things I really need. Tested for 3 weeks now, and would like to continue maintain this till I have a car (then I will add monthly insurance and parking).

I want to keep financial planning as easy as possible, own as less bills/accounts as possible, but as much as I really need. The beauty of this is not to save the money, it is about how I gain the control of my life including finance.

SLU, Seattle, WA

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